7 common mom types in Squamish

I don't have any problems saying it: other moms drive me nuts. Not all of them, of course, just a large percentage of them. I am sure I drive them nuts, too, and that is fine by me. I found out early on that I did not mesh well with many maternal types after my first child was born and I attempted to meet others like me at the local baby groups. My inability to not be annoyed by other mothers only increased as my children reached school age. You're worried about cliques in school among children? Where do you think they start? You got it - the mommy cliques in the drop off line. I am not perfect by any means, no one is, but here is my judgmental blog post about different moms I have encountered throughout my ten years of parenting.

Miss Perfect
This mom is perfect. Her children are perfect. Her husband is perfect. Even her minivan is perfect. Her hair always looks great, she is never late for her monthly touch ups on her highlights and she is always well rested. She wears designer clothes and spends all her spare time at the school, helping the teachers, if she isn't at home baking her perfect cookies. She has an amazing life and she makes sure everyone knows it.

Miss Drama
This mom always has the shitty end of the stick. Her life totally sucks, her husband left her, one of the kids has an abscess, the cat just died and her car ran out of gas on the way to the school. She always looks exhausted and doesn't put any effort into her appearance. Your kid is sick? Well, hers has a rare African disease that needs special experimental treatment of daily wasp stings. You gained four pounds over Christmas holidays? Well, she gained 47 pounds and it's not going to come off because she is deathly allergic to exercise and nutritional food. She's always looking for pity and she's always trying to one-up anything unfortunate.

Miss Paranoia
This is the mom that duct taped pillows to her coffee table, put locks on every single cupboard or drawer in her kitchen -even the upper ones- and always has a container of Clorox wipes handy. Her child wears a helmet in the car and she hovers below him when he's on the playground, with outstretched arms, anticipating a fall. She is very involved with the school and pioneered the anti-peanut brigade. She has up to date knowledge of which diseases are spreading through the world and how to prevent it. Her kids aren't allergic to any thing, but she eliminates foods from their diets just in case. She also drives her children to field trip destinations herself, as busses are terribly unsafe.

Miss Hip
This mom is cool. So cool, she's cooler than cool. She drives the newest most echo friendly vehicle on the market, wears el naturalista shoes and only eats food from her own organic garden. Her kids have hip names and they all rock climb. She is always in a pleasant mood and never judges the other moms. She lives in her bubble of Eco friendly bliss and travels to Thailand or South America a few months out of every year to help build homes for poverty stricken communities.

Miss Oldschool
This is the mom that believes children are second class citizens and need a good licking every now and then. She has no problem disciplining your child. She is frequently seen with a stern face, grabbing her child firmly by the arm and whispering something -likely horrible- under her breath in their ear. She is opinionated and often considered as white trash by the other moms. She doesn't like the other moms because she finds them snobby.

Miss Sporty
This is the mom that is always wearing lulu lemon and heading to the gym or yoga class. Her kids are in every shingle sport there is and they are good at all of them. She lives off protein shakes and drives a fancy crossover vehicle, yet you wouldn't know it, as she usually rides her bike or runs with the kids to the school. The kids have all participated in a mini marathon and and she is signed up for at least six races a year.

Miss On The Go
This mom is always in a hurry and always running behind. She has so many projects on the go it's a wonder she has the time to complain about it to you. She works full time, volunteers constantly and is also always available for every field trip, attends every parents committee meeting, sells Tupperware and still, somehow, has time for her kids.


Do you recognize yourself in any of these moms? ;)