Saturday, December 29, 2012

My butt peed!

My daughter, Sage, is a special sort of character. She has a never ending list of quirks and as she grows, she only gets more quirky.  Her latest catchphrase is "My (insert random body part here) did it, I didn't do it." For example, she emptied out her dresser drawers onto her bedroom floor the other day and when I asked her why she made such a mess of her room, she replied, "No, I didn't, my hand did, mommy." She then looked at her hand and said, "Hand! You don't do that! That's not nice to make a mess in my room! Ugh!" She looked up at me, with a very serious look on her face and continued, "Mommy, my hand is bad."  
Well, I couldn't argue with that! Her hand, certainly, was bad and she gave it a good scolding and made it help put her clothes back in her dresser, so was I justified in scolding her? She did turn it into a bit of a grey area...
Another example of this deflection to extremities happened just a few moments ago, which prompted me to compose today's post.  We were sitting in the living room together and she began to squirm and dance a little. I asked her if she needed to pee and she said she did and quickly and awkwardly started running to the bathroom.  I heard the trickle start on the floor in the hallway and then she started shouting, "Hey butt! Stop making my pee come out! That's not nice, butt!" I almost died laughing. She then called to me, "Mom! My butt won't stop making my pee come out!" So I got up and got a towel to help her clean it up. At this point she started smacking herself and scolding her butt more, "Bad butt, pee goes in the toilet, not on the floor.  That's not nice. No." She looked up at me and said in a tone of conviction, "Mom, my butt is really not nice."
I responded to her by saying, "You're right, your butt was not nice making you pee on the floor, but it's ok.  Accidents happen, so it's not bad and we cleaned it all up." She seemed ok with that and stopped scolding her butt.
A few other incidents that have been blamed on various body parts are a foot that can't stop kicking people, a mouth that won't stop spitting out food she doesn't like, and legs who don't want to get dressed in the morning. This is a silly period in her growth and development of her personality and I am finding it quite enjoyable.  She comes up with ridiculous excuses for her actions and a new scapegoat each day.  Perhaps I should make her take responsibility for these things, but I admire her creativity and, also find it quite amusing.

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About Me

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I live in a world that includes diseased unicorns and fairies. I have a wealth of cynicism and good looks. I enjoy rainy days and long walks on polluted beaches. I can find the ridiculousness in most situations, especially anything involving my children.