7 Habits Of Highly Dramatic People.

Disclaimer: This is a parody, dummy.

Are you struggling to find drama in your life? Do you find your inner peace and happiness are getting in your way? Follow these steps and you'll be well on your way to re-establishing yourself in the halls of your local high school that you miss so dearly.

1.) Learn to use the power of negativity.
Highly dramatic people need a constant string of negativity. Why be optimistic or happy when you can be disappointed and anxious? Optimism rarely propels drama, so turn that smile upside down! Worry and complain about anything you can! Effective examples: What if my car breaks down? What if one day I can't pay the bills? What if my house catches fire? I hate my job. I hate my commute. Be a spazz and freak out whenever you can. Practice on the girl in the coffee shop when she takes too long or messes up your order, then work your way up to those you care about. Don't be predictable about it though, you need to bottle up your negativity and unleash it when it is least expected. Focus all your energy on pointing out everything bad and you're ready to take on the next step.

2.) Maintain unrealistic expectations for yourself and others.
It is important to constantly set yourself up to be let down. This behaviour is paramount to the dramatic lifestyle you wish to achieve. Look for ways to make sure your goals are never met, then you will have a constant supply of negativity as fuel. Procrastination, laziness and disinterest will help you out along the way and once you fail, you'll be left with lower self esteem, which is crucial to the foundation of this exercise.

3.) Add more to your plate.
The busier you are, the more you will have to complain about and the more you'll be able to apply yourself less, which creates perfect balance with steps 1 and 2 in this guide. You have so many more opportunities for failure by taking on excessive responsibility and tasks. Double book appointments, visits with friends and errands. The competing priorities will stress you out and also ensure that something is overlooked. This will, in turn, guarantee drama along the way.

4.) A little embellishment can go a long way.
True dramatic prowess sometimes requires a slight twisting of the truth. If you are able to effectively embellish a story you have a tool that puts all the other drama lovers to shame. You don't need anything really bad or serious to actually happen, you can fabricate it and that can be quite satisfying in the realm of dramatica.

5.) It is also important to be vague.
You can do this in conversation, which takes slightly more skill, or you can just do it on Facebook. Those, who do it effectively in conversation have likely spent years mastering this art form. If you choose to do this on Facebook, simply update your status with examples such as: "Worst night ever..." "I've lost all faith in humanity..." "So sad..." Etc, etc, etc. Now, it's important that you DO NOT respond when your caring friends ask you what is wrong, as the dramatic effect will be lessened.
When using this technique in conversation, it is most desired to begin telling a story, then stop yourself and say something like, "never mind, I shouldn't say anything. It's not my place." This is something that drives others insane and will get them to try to pry for more. Be strong and don't give in, unless it is extremely hurtful to another party.

6.) Victimize no one, but yourself.
You've now cried your sob story, set yourself up for failure and disappointment and hurt friends and loved ones along the way, but maintain your belief that it was YOU who was wronged. Being the victim is key if you plan on going far with this lifestyle. So, go on, feel sorry for yourself.

7.) Blame game.
Blame is powerful for a highly dramatic person. You can start by blaming yourself, but don't rest there. Blame everyone and everything. Blame your friends (if you still have any,) family, the government, small minds, corporations, that guy in line ahead of you, your kids, your boss, your spouse, global warming, ect. DO NOT EVER take any responsibility, this will minimize drama and could potentially solve problems and lead to personal growth and that is the last thing you want to happen.